“My story has nothing to do with anyone except me, and the same is true for everyone else.”

-Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces

All of my life, I felt as though I never quite belonged. I never “fit” in at school, at home, at work, even in church. I was always a square attempting to “fit,” or forced to “fit” in a circle. As can be assumed, that meant a lot of cutting, clipping, and sawing off the edges of my ME. No matter how much I snipped away of myself, it was never enough, though. I was just TOO big, too mis-shaped, too irregular to fit in any circles. I was too ME to be enough for anyone else. Or so it seemed. And so, at a young age, I began to look for ways to “fit” in with the world and with the things and people in it. Or ways to make those things and people and even the world, “fit” around me. Or ways to not care about “fitting” at all. And so begins my search for my pieces…

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Eventually this search led me to pieces of myself. Broken pieces, sawed off pieces, clipped, snipped and trimmed pieces. I found chunks and blocks of pieces too. And I was devastated. I hadn’t realized how many pieces I’d lost and broke and let be broken, deformed and misused over the years. And the pieces were everywhere. How was I ever going to find all of them? And if I ever did, who, if not me, would put them back together? As my searched continued, I found myself in a heap of splintered, jagged, microscopic pieces. Those pieces stared back at me, waiting to be put back together. Like myself, those pieces, which were once the world’s trash, waited for me to make them MY treasure. And so, my search, though slightly rerouted, continued…

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Then, one day, I realized, I wasn’t meant to fit in circles. Because I am not a circle. I am not even a square. I am a figure very different from all figures ever known or discovered. I am a new shape, a new figure, a new geometrical illusion. And at that point, my search ended, because I was already found. I didn’t need to look for someone to find me, as I had never been lost. God always had me and now, I could finally see. So began, my journey of understanding and discovery…

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”
Romans 8:28-30 NIV

This blog, this story, this journey that we are about share together, starts here and now. And it starts with…

Discovery #1: I am a writer. So I must, of course, write myself out of all of the wrong circles.

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