This poem is inspired by the recent and devastatingly tragic death of motivational blogger, Karyn Washington. Interestingly enough, I had never heard of “For Brown Girls” or Karyn, prior to her death, and yet, her suicide hit me really, really hard.

My mind and conscious weren’t forced to really deal with the calamity of her death until I came across an article titled, “When the Rainbow Isn’t Enough: For Karyn Washington”. The article highlighted the trouble in finding room to discuss, let alone actively interrupt the devastating pattern of unsafe internal spaces leading to suicidal thoughts, attempts and actions, particularly on Brown girls.

My own past, being haunted by struggles with severe depression and subsequent, suicidal tendencies, I have a special place in my consciousness and spiritual empathy for my brothers and sisters worldwide that transcend from the physical world in the most lonely of ways, by suicide.

So in honor of NaPoWriMo and all of those lovely spirits that were forced into believing their physical presence had no other way out, and thus, left by suicide, here is a poem. A perspective of the mind of one lovely spirit, trapped and devoid in a physical world, and how such an internal struggle against an external character warfare, could perhaps, just perhaps, lead to the thought, and even, the action of taking one’s life.

If you are or know someone who is currently experiencing suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please visit the National Lifeline Suicide Prevention website or call their toll free hotline at (800) 273-TALK.

Or, you can just write ME! I’m here for you! I’m not superwoman or anything, but I literally have a world of love to give and I am always looking to share it. So write me and let’s chat, so I can tell you and show you how much I love you and how truly loved you are!

Seriously, suicide is no joke, so don’t think twice, contact me!


When The Rainbow Isn’t Enough: A Poem For Karyn Washington & The Lonely Departed

I grieve intensely for the life Karyn

Couldn’t, wouldn’t and shouldn’t

Know how to manage and maintain

Cultivate and innovate

You see, you’re not always this person that you become

One day, or maybe several days

It creeps up on you, without you realizing it

And it slowly builds camp in the most remote corners of your being

Latching on strongly to the broken promises, lies and dreams burrowed beneath your hope

Entrenching its stench, breadth and robust frame into the roots of your lifeline

Some are born with it encamped in the crevices of their DNA

Others, perhaps more fortunate

Perhaps, more sheltered, don’t inherit it

But instead, adopt, are assigned, or simply grow to become it

I am speaking about the often over trivialized, over scrutinized, and under euthanized

Soul damaging, world terminating, and mind dissolving

Parasitic, perverse and cancerous disease

Depression

A word so often misguidedly used, yet so rarely defined or actualized

Depression is a disease

And it kills

It kills dreams,

It kills desires

It kills faith

It kills strength

It kills dedication

It kills intelligence

It kills compassion

It kills truth

It kills honesty

It kills responsibility

It kills empathy

It kills solidarity

It kills patience

It kills wisdom

And it kills love

Karyn, my love

A beautiful spirit

Darkened by depression and loneliness

And yet, enlivened by the light of love, the authenticity of Spirit, and the righteousness of humanism

Though, departed from this dark world, filled with wicked, hateful and negative forces of evil

Far too clouted, costumed and masked in paraded wardrobes called depression, mental illness, and psychotherapy drugs

She still remains the light of life for the trenches of strugglers still seeking new life, new love, new existence

Or old life, love, existence

What was stitched into their wiring, yet, shredded

By the dogmatic demands and healing hindered hypothetical happiness thrust down the throats of humanity

The strugglers, still struggling, still seek the spirit ingrained in them

The Spirit ingrained in us all

The spirit of life

The soul of Karyn and the souls of the lonely departed

Sought that Spirit

To no avail, or so it seemed

Is it?

Can they?

Can we?

Find Spirit, in us, in now, in you and in me

To whisper to us, in our most decrepit times, that we are loved, wanted, needed, irreplaceable and divine

We can, if we seek wholeheartedly, find, grasp, cusp and even hold the very divinity of the spirit within

In honor of my love, Karyn

Of every lonely departed spirit

Of my own expired former self

Let us acknowledge, accept, be aware, and actualize the existence of Spirit

Let us know and always remember that

There is someone who is always there for you

Whenever, wherever, day or night, when you need him

He is inside of you

And she is you

You are her

Let us began to build bridges over lakes of sorrow to other side of the rainbow

Where the Spirit inside of us awaits our arrival

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