See my daddy never existed
and my father is so twisted
in which he never loved me
contrary to what my mommy lies to me
but she could never sell me the broken dream of a daddy so senseless
that he never discovered his own treasures,
he missed us.
I could never love him or show him respect
because he could never do the same
and what a shame I didn’t have a banana between my legs
because my half brother got all the love
but it was never enough
he still dropped outta school and let drugs ruin his life too
but not me
for the most part I’ve always been smart
getting my education to use it as my emancipation from all those I hate.
But there is no debate that most of all
I wanna prove to him that I was too good for him
and that he was the mistake, not me
that I carry beauty within and without
so I don’t need his approval or love
and this is my shove back for the lack of care and attention he gave me.
It all means nothing though,
because I can never bring back every show he missed,
all of the destroyed bliss
and every ungiven kiss.
So I replace my deep resentment with anger and conceit
which is only a mask for my defeat
because if he never love me then what man will,
it would take too much skill to master the art of pleasing such a tormented heart
and I couldn’t even start to list all of the sadness his absence caused
and all those black girls lost without a daddy.
No man to provide an example for how we should be treated
so I had to create one myself,
that was one project I failed
because my love ship still hasn’t sailed
and I’ve been hurt way more times than I’ve been happy.