I, Shaquana Gardner, am attracted to women. Emotionally. Mentally. Romantically. Sexually. Psychologically. All around. In and out. Up and down.
And not in the ‘we pig out on ice cream and cake, get our periods simultaneously and call/ text for every little thing’ best friend type of way, either.
I love people, so what? I came to this conclusion at least a decade ago. Moreover, anyone who knows me slightly well, has some or all ideas about my attraction to women.
So, what’s the big deal? Why did I dedicate an entire #OutspokenSunday post to declare what was already known?
Because it wasn’t already known. In the same way I feel the need to redefine for myself, what it means to be a woman, what it means to be Black and what it means to be poor, I must redefine what it means for me to be a true lover of all things beautiful.
The type of love I have doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t filter people by gender, race, class or any other type of identity. My love is always for one thing; one’s spirit.
A spirit knows no gender, class, race or other socially constructed identity. Spirits are defined by their emotions, energy and purpose. That is what draws me to another human. And that’s all.
“I love women. The wonderment of their lips. The exquisite speck of hope in their eyes. The most delicate art of beauty in their curves. The soul shattering strength in their spirits.”
Moreover, I have allowed myself to shy away from really fortifying my love for women, as I do with my love for men. I believe I have in many more ways than one, allowed societal pressures of categorization to deflect me from wholly acknowledging all of my love for people. In general, I find that I don’t feel comfortable or free when being tied to predefined socially constructed identities.
I am most free when I define myself for myself. With that being said, I refuse to adopt another damn category. I already have the weight of being a woman, Black and poor, and I’m good with that. Outside of those willfully accepted identities, I’m committing here on out, to just be human. And with that, a human who knows what she wants, needs and loves.
So, there it is right there. I am a woman. And I love women!
I love women. The wonderment of their lips. The exquisite speck of hope in their eyes. The most delicate art of beauty in their curves. The soul shattering strength in their spirits. I love each and everything about women. Every corner of their existence. All crevices of their being.
I say it loud and proud: I LOVE WOMEN!!
Haha, this is overly exhilarating and freeing!! It’s therapeutic, almost!
Now, that I’ve crossed this off the list, there’s so much more to do. First stop, make peace with my once scorned heart. Next stop, perhaps I’ll be ready to get back on the horse. Haha, so to all the beautiful ladies who love beautiful ladies (and are looking to chat it up), I look forward to meeting you soon ;-)!