Things are wild on this side! I have so much going on, and yet, nothing going on at the same time. If you’re struggling to make sense of that, imagine what I have to do to live it and make sense of it, at the same time.

I mentioned earlier in the month, when I first introduced NaPoWriMo 2015, that I would pretty much be all over the place this month. That has been a bit of an understatement, to say the least. Fortunately for you all, you’re just looking from the outside, in. You’re not forced to live the madness of the life that comes with being Shaquana Gardner, in all its beautiful craziness. 

Having to work diligently this past week, toward fortifying my spiritual growth, I’ve slacked on posting poems for NaPoWriMo. As I mentioned in my catch up post for this past Tuesday, ‘Different Strokes,’ I actually have been writing poems for each day. I just haven’t been able to post them. In such, I am going back to add poems for the days of this past week that didn’t get any love. You should look out for those, as they’re def worth reading. 

If you haven’t read my #OutspokenSunday post for today (4.19.15), you may not know that I am pregnant! Yayy!! Right?! Well, that’s been the project I’ve working hard at the past few months; preparing myself for this big reveal. In such, I can finally say out loud to you all that I dedicating this month’s theme to my budding butter bean. God willing, her name will be Bayyina, which means testament/ evidence of God.

Everything I do these days is for Bayyina. All in faith and prayers for her safe arrival to the world. All in accord with being the absolute best me I can be, in time to greet her with the most awesome mommy =). Thus, in stride with my Bayyina theme for this NaPoWriMo, here is a poem dedicated toward who I am. 

I am learning more and more, that who I pray for my child to God willing, grow to be, is succinctly tied into who I grow to be. I must fortify, actualize and honor every essence of who I am, to make way for who I aim to be. This poem speaks to that. So, without much ado, I present to you, ‘I AM.’ I hope you all enjoy!


I AM strongest in the eye of the storm

I AM most beautiful, face to face with hate

I AM beyond wonderful, in time of distress

I AM quite delightful, on the loneliest nights

I AM exquisitely divine in midst of disaster

I AM dominant and powerful when frightened

I AM resiliently refined in face of rejection

I AM cultivated to build on top of destruction

I AM designated to grow from the roots of rot

I AM the alternator exterminator

I AM Her, She, It, He, Him, Them, Us