As a pregnant woman, faced with a world of obstacles, I have been digging deeply into my soul, for the strength to beat odds that come my way. I am working so hard to bask into the peace and joy this pregnancy has bought to me, and in such, have been battered with much hate and resistance from the outside world. 

I always thought babies were the fruit of the earth. In such, I’ve always taken great pleasure in welcoming new ones into the world. Once I had my first miscarriage, my entire appreciation of the work and faith that goes into bringing a life into this world, shifted. I knew for sure that this thing called life, is much beyond our control.

Us humans have gotten to believing that we have the power to control life. That we can talk to a doctor and pay an extra dollar, and that’s all it takes to formulate a life. It’s kind of bizarre, when you think about it. People thinking they can control life. That they’re actually likened to the state of God Himself. Until of course, it’s their turn to come or go. That’s when the reality hits them. 

Anywho, I’m learning a lot about life. A lot about what it takes to create a life. What it means to be alive. And I appreciate it all soooo much more. Somehow though, that hasn’t went over so well with the rest of the world. No one seems to appreciate human life anymore. Outside of this blog here, the amount of congrats I have received have sadly come few and far between.

Those who the love has come from, have been even more surprising. You know how people say, ‘blessings come in the most unexpected of places.” Well, I am learning that more and more everyday. People I would least expect to pay me congrats and love, have done so. And those I would most expect to share my joy, have shown the opposite.

People are beyond unhappy about my new and growing joy. They’re pissed. As if I stole something from them. As if, me becoming a mother, is a damnation to them and the world. I obviously know there is so much more at play here.

I know that the wicked one, be mad a something, when God get to working out His biggest blessings. I know that my dear beloved butter bean, baking in my oven, is a threat to all things wicked and evil in this world. As, she will most definitely be a blessing for all, cultivated from the purest of love and truth. The key here, is to consider where the wickedness is coming from. People who call themselves my “friends” and “family,” have nothing but hate to throw my way. Instead of congrats, I get “who’s the father?” And God forbid, I let people know it’s none of their damn business. Because, it isn’t!

Last time I checked, when I’m hungry, my momma and God the only ones working to help me get food. As my belly grows and my clothes cease to fit, my momma and God the only ones wondering how I’m gonna get clothes that transition with my growth. When I’m down about my lack of support and care, my momma and God the only ones working to put peace in my heart. So, please tell me where people get off being “concerned” about who the sperm donor is, of a child they could care less to congratulate, let alone welcome into the world?

The answer is, they’re not. The wicked one is ruling their minds and souls, and their actions manifest the truth of such. So, I must put my focus into the light. The positive. The faith of God. I know what’s working around me and against me. So, I must remember to remain vigilant in my struggles toward better. 

Which brings me to my poem for Day 26 of NaPoWriMo. I am stronger than strength itself! An obstacle to all things inhumane! I can survive all things human and known to man! I am Shaquana, for God sake! That’s what this poem is about. It’s about being a Black woman warrior.

For there were centuries before me, when my ancestors struggled to bear children of rapists and evil doers, while chained and beaten! My pregnant sister soldiers who were kicked, bound and bruised by “officers of the law,” as they fought for freedom during the Civil Rights and Black Power Movements. I come from a long line of Black Warrior Women and I intend to serve their memories well! A’se and enjoy!


Black Warrior Woman

I raise men to be kings

I birth women to be queens

I stand high on mountaintops

Built from the loins of my courage

I am Black

A Black Warrior Woman

That’s me

 

I struggle hardships into heroships

I brown beauty into bastards

I straddle love into locked hearts

Fueled by the strength of my Father

I am Black

A Black Warrior Woman

That’s Me

I sow seeds of peace into stressed souls

I cultivate blessings from black and blues

I manage centuries of crises and chaos

Pummeled upon us by history

I am Black

A Black Warrior Woman

That’s Me

 

I found joy hidden underneath my soul

I bought it back to the offspring of tomorrow

I create, design, propel and control

The strength of all that is

I am Black

A Black Warrior Woman

That’s Me

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