Can I say, just to get it out there, that it really pisses me off, to have to assert something, so blaringly apparent to my existence as a human being?!
There is no reason for a rational, relatively socially conscious adult, to not see, the very visible socio-economic divide between Blacks and Whites, men and women, and/ or poor people and rich people.
And when those groups start to overlap, the divides become even larger and more blatant. So again, there is no reason for this divide not to be seen, understood and easily acknowledged in this world, by anyone of rational mind.
Thus, the only reason a person could truthfully use, to explain never noticing such a vivid aspect of the world in which we all populate, is that they weren’t paying attention. It wasn’t their reality, so they didn’t notice, because they didn’t need to.
The sickening role that individual self- centered and selfish based lifestyles play, in perpetuating these murderous systems of oppression, is out of this world! In such, that’s a conversation for another day.
“This is my PSA saying, “White People: Respect My Shit or Kiss My Ass!!'”
The point here is, my reality doesn’t become obsolete just because it isn’t relevant to you! Because for the record, who the FUCK are you, anyway?! Granted, poor people aren’t discussed or thought of, at the big fancy, variety- filled dinner table of, upper middle class and rich folks.
But for the record, rich and upper middle class folks, aren’t thought of or mentioned at the small, [often] processed food- filled table of the poor. Maybe your money and lifestyle might be… but damn sure, not you.
Same goes for the discussion of White folks, at Black folks’ table. And for that matter, any other privileged group, who thinks that their reality is mentally at the forefront of people populating the group(s), that their privilege inherently feeds off of; we don’t eat, sleep and breathe, dreaming of you, being you or even knowing you!
Our existence as people, is not dependent upon your made up socially constructed standards of “being.” You don’t need to acknowledge, let alone lose sleep over our realities, for us to have significance, as people and spirits of purpose and value. So, let’s get it straight, this isn’t a plea deal of any kind.
I’ve been reflecting heavy, over the past week or so, about the oppressive systemic forces of nature, that continue to eat my spirit, inner joy and strength to keep going, ALIVE! Here’s what I’ve come up with: A PSA saying, “White People: Respect My Shit or Kiss My Ass!!”
For folks that don’t speak that academic blah, blah, blah talk, I’m talking about jail and prison systems, and the people inside of them. I’m talking about the racist ass elementary school teacher(s), that all poor, Black children have faced (or if you’re lucky like me, saw your mom curse out).
Or the nosy ass, White school or community center therapist, that claims to just want to help, but really don’t give two shits about you or yo’ po’ ass, Black ass family.
The rude ass, food stamp or public assistance worker, giving you or yo’ momma mad attitude, eye rolls and back talk, thinking she better than y’all because she got a “real” job (like she didn’t get it through the same Welfare program, ya’ll applying for).
The brainwashed in the face ass ACS worker, who thinks they’re the judge, jury and executioner for parenting (even though, most of them don’t even have children), and assumes that every [sic] Black person they encounter, must be the worst parent in the universe.
Or the racist ass doctor, who works at a community health clinic just to feel better about their own pathetic ass life, by looking and talking down on poor people, with little nutrition education and zero nearby healthy food options, for being poor people with little nutrition education and zero nearby healthy food options.
You get the picture that I’m painting here, I think. These chronic momentary experiences of White faces and White ideals, are poisoning our evolution as a spiritual and physical being. And when I say “our,” I’m specifically talking about poor and/ or Black people.
“Anyone who has ever grown up in the ‘hood knows that, you only see White people in the ‘hood when they want something or have something to gain.”
Whiteness is plaguing our everyday existence, sucking the life out of every single road to glory, we attempt to take to get to the “top.” The poorer you are, the more “oversight” you receive. Meaning, the poorer you are, the more White people you see, lurking, poking and dipping their nosey asses in your business.
Anyone who has ever grown up in the ‘hood knows that, you only see White people in the ‘hood when they want something or have something to gain. Whether it’s offering “information,” “services,” or “other forms of assistance,” White people only show up when they’re being paid and forced to. And the second their paid time is up, their asses are GHOST!
No matter how hard we try to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, Whiteness will always be lurking around the corners of ‘opportunity and catch a friggin’ break,’ waiting to stand in our way.
In a place like the U.S. (and most especially in a go- getter city like New York), you hear all types of little sayings, reflecting the idea that the way to even out the odds against the oppressed, is to play the oppressor’s game. Which for the record, is dumb ass fuck! I digress.
Anyway, they tell you shit like, “anyone who puts their mind to it, can make it.” And, “opportunity is everywhere, you just have to look for it.”
The classic one you hear all the time, if you’re outside of the “winner’s group” (i.e. White, male or rich) is, “you have to play the game, in order to win.” Well I’m here to say, we can play the game all we want, but we’ll never win because the game is poised, to play us.
I’ll be the first to openly say, there is definitely a very tiny quota on the amount of poor, Black, women (like myself), allowed out of the ‘hood, per decade, per region. All of the “pulling” in the world, ain’t gon’ make that quota disappear. God forbid I dare to, “cast down thy bucket.” Believe me, when I say, workingat that rate, you’ll never make it out.
It took me years of healing, self reflection and a lot of other spiritual shit you don’t really care about, to admit one very tragic and yet, very true thing: In order for White people to “win,” Black people must lose!
When you tie in the same logic, for the dichotomous binaries of men and women, and the rich and poor… people like me don’t fair well, (poor, Black, woman… let alone if you’re queer, differently abled, non-native and/ or Lord knows what else)… to say the least.
Having to deal with more than my fair share of doctors, police officers, lawyers and government agency workers within the last three years, who are White and/ or perpetuate Whiteness, I’ve been forced into the light of Truth: White is not right! Ain’t no way around it.
My sudden “boldness,” in my will to speak on such “touchy” topics outside of the home, comes from my own current experiences with White people. My recent status change to a ‘new mom’ (who happens to be Black), led to my forced dealings with White standards for child rearing, really sending me over the edge.
From my current ACS case, to Kamaria’s pediatrician, to everyday stares and comments from random White people on the NYC streets, I’m exhausted! And to think, she’s not even three months, yet! I went through weeks of questioning God’s calling for me to be a mother, because of these damn people!
“Did God make the right decision?? Did I have what it took to be a mother, and an activist??”
Nothing that I believe or embody, as a woman or a mother, validates Whiteness. Nothing! So, inherently, I spent many a weeks, questioning my will and ability to take on everything around me, threatening to suffocate my ability to reign as a mother, who lives in the truth of God!
I mean, I knew that I wasn’t going to bow down to the way of the flesh, or “man.” That was never an option.
I worked too damn hard, over the past three years, to give in, just like that. At the same time, I was having a mental war. Was I strong enough for this? Did God make the right decision?? Did I have what it took to be a mother, and an activist??
Did I really dare to rise to the calling of taking on the most difficult and rewarding task possible for a human (i.e. motherhood); and the most daring and redeeming task possible for a spirit (i.e. fighting darkness/ evil)??
Because fighting Whiteness by day, and wickedness by night, is a completely different ball game, when you increase your level of vulnerability to ‘off the charts’ (as motherhood inherently does). I can accept and take certain levels of evil, associated with Whiteness and wickedness, that I’ll be damned if I accept for my child.
Which is bittersweet for my spiritual journey, as the current way of the world now troubles my heart to a degree, I never thought possible. And yet, the current way of the world thus, demands from and ignites within me, a degree of fight that I never thought possible.
In any regard, I just thought I should tell you all (just for the record, of course), that I am a mother! And I am an activist! And that my becoming a mother, only fueled my fire, to destroy institutionalized systems meant to deny my child’s, and every other child like her’s, right to be, live and thrive as humans! A’se!